22/12/23

22/12/23

who else is willing to sacrifice what i am willing to sacrifice? i decide who i am and who i am to become. They don’t know me, they don’t see what i see - i suppose in the end it will be me that shows them. It could only be me to show them. Everyone i once knew has given in, or maybe they had never really tried to begin with. They are in a wormhole, oblivion - one of their own choosing.

The drama will suck you in and never let you go it seems. The drama seems a key part of being stuck, posed against others who are also stuck, by design?

All i do is design, redesign and create. I live by myself, in my own world of which i created a long time ago. As i increase my focus i start to be able to craft windows into this world, for people to peek, have a look, but never truly live within.

Everything, everyone, plagues me.

I cant focus. Not like i dream of. Too much noise, too many people stuck in their own world - they don’t realise it, but everything they say and do is an attempt to drag me into their own reality, the one of where a version of myself of whom i do not recognise, resides. I am no better. I don’t wish to drag anyone into my reality, but everything i do is to allow for it to be recognised.

if you don’t give something your all then you didn’t even try.